Sound Bites I'd Like to See

I don't know about y'all, but I'm actually surprised at the extent to which the run-up to this debate has actually been on the high-road side.  This whole cycle is the most amazing thing ever.  As Mark Twain said (this could be a paraphrase, so don't hold me to the exact words), the difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to be credible.

Anyway, here are some sound bites I'd like to see at this upcoming Debate of All Debates:

- Stronger together?  Sure, that may be so when the person with whom you're working isn't a pathologically crazy person who is trying to kill you.  When someone comes after you wielding a knife, it's not the time to invite them over to a sit-down.  Just like the notion of keeping law-breakers out of our space is somehow the building of inappropriate walls rather than wonderful, happy bridges.  Your naivety is as reckless as it is dangerous.

- And, speaking of working together - you talk about an atmosphere of respect?  You're the one who calls me a reality-TV star.  I am the Republican nominee for President of the United States of America.  You call my supporters deplorable.  They are hard-working Americans.  I've identified things you've actually done, and you hurl insults.  Please show some respect.

- I will put my record regarding women up against yours anytime.  I have women in senior positions throughout my business network, and, with no offense to my two grown boys, my beloved daughter Ivanka may well be my most trusted advisor.  You, on the other hand, were in the White House at a time when we saw what was arguably the most ugly and unfair abuse of sexual power in a workplace environment in the history of the world, and probably participated in the efforts to control the fallout.  I'll take my record over yours any day.

- You think that I hope someone shoots you?  That is so ridiculous and offensive that it is shameful.  I should not have to utter the obvious words that I do not wish any violence of any kind on you, but I'll utter them, because of the things you've said.  I do not wish any violence of any kind on you.  Just like I hope that, if you're elected, you are not physically frail and do not take ill.  These are obvious things and should not need to be said, but I guess in the poisonous atmosphere you're created here I have not choice but to say them.

- I've had companies go bankrupt?  Of course I have.  The capitalist system permits investors to invest and to try . . . and to fail.  I have, clearly, succeeded overall.  It would shock me if any one of your larger donors have not had at least one failed effort.  It's worth mentioning that this bankruptcy system is largely informed by the preferences of Democrats in Congress over the years.  I guess only Democrats should use the system?  And we're worried about creditors being left holding the bag?  These are banks that understand the risks of lending to corporations, and protect themselves as they see fit in extensive documents negotiated by high-paid lawyers.  We're supposed to cry for them when there's a loss among all their gains?  But I guess I would not expect you to understand these things.  You haven't grown one significant business venture, or created any significant amount of jobs, in your entire life.

- Madam Secretary, I would not even pretend to have the kind of detailed understand of the inner workings of government that you have.  What I have is an understanding of process, and a set of judgments as to how I think things should be.  Whatever you think of how I've run my business empire, I'm now going to put my skills and approaches to work for the American people.  To our enemies, I would not want to be on the other side of that.  We've had a history of insiders who understand government all to well trying to make a go of it, and we now are where we are.  It's time to try something else.

I guess we'll know a lot more after tomorrow night!  Woo hoo . . .